Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Sherlock thinks I'm pretty

I have issues. Today I got pissed off at someone because they called me pretty. I told them to stop talking to me and I was annoyed for hours. In my defense, it was said in a particularly bothersome way. (I think.)

I told the person I was a bit antisocial and they responded:

Anonymous Annoying Person: lol oh come on a pretty face like that doesnt want to hang or doesnt hang with one
Anonymous Annoying Person: you most be joking

So then I thought I'd prove my distaste for social environments by telling this person to stop talking to me.

Synecdoche: My pretty face represents all of me. It is my pretty face that wants to be around people (not me, because I don't have anything beyond that) and the reason it wishes to do this is... presumably because it's pretty? Now how the hell does that make sense?

I really hate people judging me by my looks. They get this look on their faces that says: "You are pretty, therefore you must be shallow, trivial, frightened, ignorant, uneducated, fertile, fragrant, cheerful and optimistic, bitchy, you watch too much television, and you must have a limited vocabulary."

And I'm like, yeah, I'm one of those things: I'm a bitch, and I am staying indoors all the time to avoid confrontation with uninteresting and unoriginal people who have nothing more enlightening to say other than that I'm beautiful.

No shit, sherlock.

Now how about actually paying attention to a thing that comes out of my mouth or actually reading what I've written if you're so interested? Exactly. You're not.

If I manage to make any money from writing in the next three months before I turn 24 I'm going to buy myself a giant manly truck. A Hummer or a Ram 1500 perhaps. :) That way people will immediately think I'm a badass tough guy when they see my vehicle, and I like that kinda judgin'.

No comments:

Post a Comment