Sunday, 29 April 2012

My Remarks on an Insulting Synopsis

Dear Readers; do you find you enjoy it when a book quite rudely tells you what's wrong with you? When it tells you that you must change your horrible ways? If so, you'll love this book!

Why You're Not Married . . . Yet: The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You DeserveWhy You're Not Married . . . Yet: The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You Deserve by Tracy McMillan

How fascinating! I have never been insulted five times in a synopsis.

#1. " haven’t yet become the woman you need to be in order to have the partnership you want."

Oh my goodness! Please tell me more about how deficient I am as a woman, and why I must change to be the perfect ideal for every man on earth who is already perfect.

#2. "You’re a Bitch: How defensiveness and anger can hide behind a tough, take-charge exterior, and why being nice is never a sign of weakness."

I didn't realize that having a "tough, take-charge exterior" meant that I was a bitch. I thought it meant that I had a "tough, take-charge interior" which I was very proud of and never wished to compromise. But I see how being a tough woman can be a turn-off, and I will try my best to appear as though I am not.

#3. "You’re a Liar: How to stop lying to men—and get honest with yourself—about the kind of relationship you really want. It’s the only way."

I have never lied to a man in my life, but you just suggested that I should because my tough exterior was a turn-off. I'm confused. If I'm really honest with myself about what I want, it's a man who accepts and loves me for the tough, take-charge woman I am, on the exterior and interior.

But I am excited to read this book and find out more about how I should turn myself into soft, cushy carpeting under someone's worthy feet.

#4. "You’re Shallow: Being a woman who insists on a tall guy is no different from being a man who demands big boobs. Learn why you should let go of trying to get what you think you should have and focus on getting what you need."

Here's the secret! Men who are short, fat, and ugly are automatically better people! You know, I considered this theory once, and I tried dating short, fat, ugly men to see if they were less arrogant. I guess I must have chosen the wrong short, fat, ugly men, because they were just as cruel and abusive as the other kind, and almost as insulting as this synopsis.

#5. "You’re Selfish: The big secret about marriage: It’s about giving something, not getting it. The other big secret: You will have to go first."

You know, I've always wanted to give myself wholly to another person. That's why I am considering adopting a child. As far as I understand, parents must nurture their children and sacrifice everything for them without ever expecting to receive anything in return; not even respect or affection.

But I thought marriage was supposed to be mutually beneficial? I must have my definitions crossed! Sorry. I'm going to go now and tell all the women I know who have been abused in their marriages that they were just being selfish, and they should have given more.

It's all our fault after all.

Needless to say, I am excited to read the rest of this book and be insulted several hundred times more! If I can take all these insults and smile and say thank you, I will surely have learned how to be a good wife.

And that will be the be-all and end-all of my existence, because after the princesses got married, all the Disney movies ended and they lived happily ever after.

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  1. grrr... it would be almost comical if the author hadn't really meant it to be a self-help book.

  2. I agree! If she went just a little further and made it obviously comical, that might be amusing. I'm glad you agree on how silly this sounds.