Thursday, 8 March 2012

A Note on Sisters

The most daunting scene for me to write in all of Fathoms of Forgiveness was Aazuria's wedding. The reason for this was that I had to create spiritual wedding traditions for the undersea kingdom. This ceremony is really important to the whole series, and to the establishing the core beliefs of underwater societies. It is the first time that the series title, Sacred Breath is actually used, and I needed for it to be perfect.

That being said, as I wrote the scene it was not the mythology which ended up being the most challenging. It was a moment when Aazuria looks at her sister for support. Elandria smiles at her, and the two share a quiet look of understanding. I won't explain it all here, because the moment will lose its power, but it brought tears to my eyes as I wrote it.

I could not help thinking that the reason I spent so much effort on establishing the bond between the sisters might be because of the complete lack of bond I have with mine. My older sister has gotten married twice without even showing me the courtesy of telling me about it, much less inviting me or allowing me to participate in the ceremony in some small manner. I cannot use words to describe how offended I felt because of her actions... first when I was eight years old, and last year when I was 23. This was the ultimate "deal-breaker" for me, and I have pretty much disowned her as my sister. What this means is that in the rare occasions that she asks for help with her computer (which I bought her) or asks for a ride somewhere, I decline.

So, what was supposed to be the crucial moment which defined the mythology of my series ended up being yet another fantasy of mine on "how sisters really should be" and I think that's just fine.

It's something special that I can offer. My bitterness, and my sadness at not having this simple and basic familial connection gives me the yearning to imagine the very best possible relationship between two sisters. I can live vicariously though Aazuria and Elandria, and I find that to be very healing and uplifting.

My connections with real human beings might be falling apart-- but the love I have for my characters only grows and grows with the more time I spend with them. They love each other too, and they will never disappoint me-- because I have complete control over the situation, and I can (more or less) predict all of their actions and choices. I know who's dependable, and who's safe; I also know who has malice brewing deep inside and intends to betray everyone.

I wish I could know that in real life. It's actually knowledge which is bliss.

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